Is it fair to compare others’ problems to your own as a way of minimizing their problems?
assume that both reasonably have valid concerns, although your concerns might seem more valid or stand out more. what do you think? please explain.
Sometimes. My friend told me that she measure where she is at by how far and how hard her classmate are doing. I think it is better to schedule and execute what you need to do to be top rather than compare yourself to people around you. (Especially, say they are not the top but the bottom or middle). Be you, be striving to be the best you can be.
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To some extent it is ok, that is to get confidence. But each person is unique in his or her own way. No need to compare with others and worry. Problems are temporary just like the clouds, passing clouds. Good days follow the bad ones, as it is a cycle. good luck
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Hi from France
I think that reassures people to do that, but it’s rarely fair !.. More each person has its own perception of things / problems etc…
Have a nice day,
Cat.
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Sometimes. My friend told me that she measure where she is at by how far and how hard her classmate are doing. I think it is better to schedule and execute what you need to do to be top rather than compare yourself to people around you. (Especially, say they are not the top but the bottom or middle). Be you, be striving to be the best you can be.
References :
No matter how you make it sound like, the person you tell it to will feel annoyed and sad 90% of the times if you don’t value their problem just because you think it is less of a problem compared to some other problems that other people, including you have faced.
In fact, it’s not a good way at all, because each an every problem normally has a problem greater than that, but that doesn’t mean we will stay calm and do nothing about it and try to feel good just because it isn’t as bad as something else.
Always try to solve problems however they might be, instead of using words of advice as a way to make them stop thinking about it.
However, at rare times, this method is still right and will not anger the other person.
But never say your problem was GREATER than their one, only equal at maximum.
That’s when you give and example like "See, I had a huge problem and I could deal with it because I kept courage and wit at my side, and I’m sure you can too if you stay strong.", but NOT like "I had a problem much worse than yours, and I never nagged and panicked about it, and I suggest you do the same and forget about it."…
A person will always value their problem the most, and saying that it isn’t much of a problem will only make you disliked, and neither should you think in such a way.
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Experiences in life, research on human psychology by my own.
No I don’t think it is fair at all, but it is human. And if we speak of ‘right or wrong’ it certainly is wrong, but we all do it at some time in our lives. LIFE isn’t fair. Lots of people have what SEEMS like more than their ‘fair share’ of serious problems. I have just went through…actually its STILL in the process, a SERIES of extremely horrendous tragedies in my family…one right after then other and TWO at one time! I USE to do the ‘opposite’ thing and compare other’s problems to my own to try to minimize the ‘reality’ of MY PROBLEMS by partially ‘denying’ them away….saying "Oh, well it must be normal."
Your ‘thought process’ outlined in your question can get a person QUICKLY into ‘hot water’ where thought process is concerned because it easily paves the path for PUSHING away the pain and suffering and circumstances of others in order to DWELL too much on the problems WE PERSONALLY HAVE. Every self help book that I know of will tell you that you MUST concentrate on ‘being healthy and whole’ yourself…and if you aren’t you cannot ‘function’ in this world correctly. It has been my observation and experience that when we TRY to ‘focus entirely’ on our own failings and problems, we JUST GET WORSE. Its, to ME, like jumping in a whirlpool and not being able to get out…your mind just keeps going round and round REALLY UNABLE to truly see the problems of others or care about them. ODDLY enough, in our world there is great PROOF that when a person feels really ‘down and out’ for WHATEVER reason, they can begin to feel GOOD again and HAPPY again by actually STOPPING their inner focus and "Helping others!" That can be in many ways and some ‘tortured’ people begin volunteering…like a ‘rape victim’ might begin counseling other rape victims. It does NOT seem ‘logical’ that this would help, but time has proven many times over that it DOES WORK. I am a ‘believer’ and so I go to the ‘Golden Rule’ for the basis of this ….it says simply, "Do unto others what you want them to do unto you." That takes TOTAL FOCUS away from ‘oneself.’ I have done this myself in life, by founding a childrens ball club in my small town, forming a coalition of ‘professional’ people to meet monthly to discuss various areas of community problems, being President of our local chapter of the Salvation Army, and helping to form a group to help those victims of domestic violence. YES…I almost bit off MORE than I could chew. BUT in the process I ‘found me’ and my ‘gift to the world’ and became strong enough to ‘do battle’ with MY problems. It IS THE PRINCIPAL behind the ‘pay it forward’ thing….and IT WORKS.
Blessings,
Bunny7
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